Cage Match Round 3: Michelle Bachman vs. Herman Cain

{EAV_BLOG_VER:71a66d9ec44006bf}Last week saw Newt Gingrich get soundly trounced by Rick Perry. The blood is still flowing with news of his campaign finance operatives bailing.
To make things a little easier I've decided not to do cage matches between announced and unannounced candidates anymore. So...what that means is that unless Rick Perry enters the race sometime this summer he will not be paired against another candidate in the later rounds. Which means that round 2 may be a wash...which is just as well given that only 6 people voted. Lets see if we can get more people excited with two Tea flavored candidates.
This week the match is between the Tea Party darling Michelle Bachmann and the Southern Firebrand Herman Cain. Let's get strait to the ticket.

Image via WikipediaIn the pink corner standing at a dainty 5' in heels carrying a nearly flawless record of obstructionist voting against the Democrats and weighing in with a flattering conservative rap-sheet that even Sarah Palin would relish the "mother of 5 and foster mom to 23" the strongest announced female candidate to run in the Republican Primaries...Michele the Minnesota Momma Bachmann.

In the blue corner standing a solid 6' 2" and weighing in with a couple dozen extra toppings of Tea Party vigor the first legitimate African-American Republican candidate and the man who's strength of passion is only second to the strength of his voice the Godfather of Tea-Parties everywhere...Herman the Huri-Cain.

Image by Getty Images via @daylife

Ding ding...Bachmann opens up with a strong New Hampshire performance and a quick jump in the polls. Cain counters with strong business cred and a powerful rhetoric. Bachmann shrugs it all off with a quick jab of political experience.  Cain takes it in stride by singing the National Anthem with a Tea Party fan.

Both of these candidates could go all the way.

Entering the ring strong Cain goes for the win with a huge hook counting on a 0% corporate tax rate. Bachmann strikes back with big fundraising numbers. Cain looks dazed after that exchange.

The last round here starts with Michele touting her position on abortion. Cain comes back with equally strong Christian support. Both candidates reach for the "historical" card and trip over each other trying to berate the media. They both manage to get up....ding-ding.

Alright so there isn't much here...but maybe you have something to add. Drop some comments on me and then  hit up the poll on the right.

Cage Match Round 2: Gingrich vs. Perry

Last weeks cage match between the heavy weights resulted in a surprisingly big win for Mitt Romney. So we'll see him later this summer as he takes on the winner of one of the coming matches.

This week saw Newt Gingrich and Rick Perry in the news...between fuzzy images of Anthony Weiner in varying degrees of undress. So this week we have a relatively short battle between Gingrich and Perry...again you'll get to pick who wins the the match by using the poll in the top right of my blog.

Image via WikipediaIn the Red corner weighing in with a hefty history of successful congressional leadership and a name that recalls better days of prosperity and Republican resurgence. The author of the Pact with America and the thorn in Bill Clinton's side....Neeewwwwt Gingrich!

Image via WikipediaIn the other corner wearing the Lone Star shorts and weighing in with the threat of succession. The man who may be the rebirth of Texas size national politics. The conservative who's playing both the Tea Party and Republican elite....Rick Perrrrryyyyy.

Ding Ding: Round one starts with a big swing of "Smartest Man In Politics" by Newt. Perry counters with three successful terms as Governor of the biggest state in America (Sorry Alaska no-one cares about you). Newt lays it on the line with a heavy dose of Fox News interviews. Perry looks dazed but pulls out his Rolodex of deep pocketed Texans. 

Round two: Perry is slow getting into the ring but still looks strong. Newt seems to be a little wary of Rick's deep pockets but stands up quickly. Newt punishes Perry with a barrage of name recognition and early entry into a long race. Perry absorbs it all and snags Newts top aides in the process. Folks this could be over before it even starts. Newt's clinging to the ropes with a Twitter campaign. 

Round three: Newt is still hanging in there despite a seeming second wind from Perry. These two are dancing the ring avoiding the appearance of being damaged. Perry steps up and embraces the Tea Party and Paul Ryan's plan. Newt is on his heels and tries a desperate move to the middle to embrace the independents. 

Ding Ding. This match is over. Lets see what the judges (that's you) have to say. 

Post your comments to vote or simply click in the poll widget in the top right of this site. Winner to be announced Sunday(Fathers' day)...so vote early.

Weinergate? Really?

From BigGovernment.com

Why the hell are we (conservatives) paying any attention to this. Sure he needs to resign. Sure he's a total douche. But this seems like a gargantuan waste of time. Democrats won't censure the idiot. The media won't focus on the issue. They'd rather follow Sarah Palin and complain of having to pee on the side of the road than acknowledge Anthony Weiners' stupidity. The media would rather talk about Andrew Brietbart and his vendetta rather than address the issue of Weiner's inane lies. Drop the issue and move on to the bigger issues at hand. Lets see more pressure on the President over his failed jobs plan. Lets see more pressure on the GOP candidates so that we have the best nominee this next fall. Lets focus people. Weiner is aptly named (or perhaps not so aptly named) and deserves to be lampooned in the late-night shows but he certainly shouldn't be taking our eye off the prize. The GOP win in 2012 is not going to hinge on this story. It is a flash in the pan. It may paint the Democrats poorly but it doesn't break Obama's grip on the reigns of this country running off the edge of a cliff. Let this blog post be the end of this particular news cycle.

GOP Cage match Round 1: Palin vs. Romney

Recently there's an unstated rivalry in the GOP primary race. This was brought to my attention today because of a couple of articles I saw. (here and here) This combined with my previous post breaking down the GOP candidates gave me the idea for one on one cage match analysis of two candidates per week. Each week I will give my readers a chance to express their opinions on the match up for the week and select the winner. The winner of each week will face off a winner from a previous week. This should take all summer long since there are so many announced and rumored candidates. Theoretically we'll have enough response from my readers to have a good idea of who the candidate should be at the end of the primaries. Of course we could find that my readers are lop sided, idealistic, or just plain wrong and then we'll just have been entertained for several weeks.

So the cage match for this week is arguably the battle of the heavy weights and I'd wager good money that one of these two will be the front runner by years end...of course I could be completely wrong too. I pit them against each other so soon in the process because they've already gone one-on-one this week and since only one of them is a candidate it seems fair to put them both in the ring as candidates to see who comes out. 

*cue Michael Buffer voice over*

In the Blue Corner standing at 6' 2" at an undisclosed weight and packing the baggage of mandatory healthcare coverage and a pair of flip-flops courtesy of the pro-choice Massachusetts political environment.  

We have the Massachusetts Mormon, the Brother from Boston, runner up in 2008 and a favorite of the middle -of-the-road-Republicans....Miiiiittttt Romneeeey!

In the Pink Corner standing 5'5" and weighing *slap* never mind...a girl never shares that. Carrying Tina Fey, a Governorship-cut-short, and a lip-stick wearing pig the Airhead from Alaska, the Tea-Party Pretty, the Patriotic Princess and the favorite of the hater-media and crazy-conservatives....Saraaaaah Paaaaaalin!

Round 1: Sarah opens the round by calling Romney to the carpet on RomneyCare on the very day he announces his "formal" campaign. Romney counters by proving he won't stoop to cheap theatrics. Palin pulls out the big guns and denies Romney coverage by having a clambake in the same state as Romney. Romney, on his heels, pulls up a giant wad of cash and slams it right into the retro-chic glasses of Palin. 

Round 2: Both candidates are looking strong. Palin skates around the ring on roller blades like any skilled hockey mom. Romney shuffles lightly in his patent leather loafers and un-buttoned long sleeve shirt. Romney starts the round with a sold hit with his big-business cred. Palin absorbs the blow by using folksy rhetoric. Getting into it now they both reach into their historical candidacy as the first Mormon and the first Woman Presidents if they win. This round is a draw.

Round 3: The candidates are showing signs of fatigue. Mitt has a single hair out of place and Sarah has some mascara running. Romney seems ready to end this with big name endorsements in the business sector. Palin reaches to her grass roots populist cred and paid gig on Fox News. This is gonna be a close one.
*ding ding*

Both candidates are standing tall. This is going to the score card.

Please leave your comments below and help me decide who moves on in the Summer GOP Cage Match.