Cage Match Round 4: Jon Huntsman vs. Mitt Romney

Last week we saw Michele Bachmann edge out Herman Cain for Round 3 of our cage matches. She's proving to be quite the competitor and could be out for blood with 2nd quarter fundraising numbers coming out soon. Until then lets see what this week has to offer.

Image via WikipediaThis is the battle you've all been waiting for. Mormon vs. Mormon. Moderate vs. Moderate. Well coiffed vs. Well coiffed. The battle of the centu...er week is about to unfold in a wildly underwhelming battle for the middle of the road Republican...and the big prize of most electable.

In the blue corner wearing a Boston Redsox cap and a tie and weighing in with an impressive performance against a strong contender in Sarah Palin and a flawless national debate appearance we have the Massachusetts Mormon....Miiiiiitttt Romneeeey!

In the other blue corner wearing a Chinese flag lapel pin just below his American flag lapel pin and just back from a tour of duty in China for the Commander in Chief. The Utah man with a plan and a charming persuasion. Jaaaaahhhhhn Huntsmaan!

Image via Wikipedia Jon Huntsman Jr.This is sure to be one of the most impressive battles we've seen. Two moderates fighting to win a nomination that has the unfortunate test of conservative-ness. Mitt leads with a jab of name recognition. It seems to have landed unusually hard on Jon. Huntsman is trying to shrug that one off with a healthy infusion of daddy Huntsman's money. Mitt doesn't stop and throws a hard right of experience running a left leaning state. Jon takes the hard right remarkably well and counters with a solid blow of working for a far-left leaning President.  This could go on all night. Mitt pulls out all the stops and throws his comb out of the ring in an effort to remove the weight of his "plastic". He leans in and throws a huge blow with his fundraising connections. Jon stunned only slightly puts his multi-racial family on the edge of the ring and flashes a genuine smile.

Ding Ding! Round one was hard fought. Mitt is looking strong and Jon is looking confident...something must be up these guys long sleeve shirts to be standing so steady.

Round two starts. And there's a lot of preening and posturing as these two take another chance to size each other up. Romney throws the first punch with an effort to move the Utah primaries up...trying to win Jon's own state. Jon looks taken aback but counters by spending more time in New Hampshire trying to win Mitt's state. Both men take off their ties and look serious now. Romney pulls out his experience in the private sector creating jobs. Jon points out real tax decreases in Utah claiming the mantle of fiscal conservative. Both men look ready to make their final blow...leaning into a Rocky-Apolo Creed like punch using their common Mormon roots in prominent early follower Parley Pratt.

Ding Ding. Calling this at two rounds. Both men seem evenly paired and it's time to take it to the judges. Vote in the top right of the blog to decide who won this bout.

Cage Match Round 3: Michelle Bachman vs. Herman Cain

{EAV_BLOG_VER:71a66d9ec44006bf}Last week saw Newt Gingrich get soundly trounced by Rick Perry. The blood is still flowing with news of his campaign finance operatives bailing.
To make things a little easier I've decided not to do cage matches between announced and unannounced candidates anymore. So...what that means is that unless Rick Perry enters the race sometime this summer he will not be paired against another candidate in the later rounds. Which means that round 2 may be a wash...which is just as well given that only 6 people voted. Lets see if we can get more people excited with two Tea flavored candidates.
This week the match is between the Tea Party darling Michelle Bachmann and the Southern Firebrand Herman Cain. Let's get strait to the ticket.

Image via WikipediaIn the pink corner standing at a dainty 5' in heels carrying a nearly flawless record of obstructionist voting against the Democrats and weighing in with a flattering conservative rap-sheet that even Sarah Palin would relish the "mother of 5 and foster mom to 23" the strongest announced female candidate to run in the Republican Primaries...Michele the Minnesota Momma Bachmann.

In the blue corner standing a solid 6' 2" and weighing in with a couple dozen extra toppings of Tea Party vigor the first legitimate African-American Republican candidate and the man who's strength of passion is only second to the strength of his voice the Godfather of Tea-Parties everywhere...Herman the Huri-Cain.

Image by Getty Images via @daylife

Ding ding...Bachmann opens up with a strong New Hampshire performance and a quick jump in the polls. Cain counters with strong business cred and a powerful rhetoric. Bachmann shrugs it all off with a quick jab of political experience.  Cain takes it in stride by singing the National Anthem with a Tea Party fan.

Both of these candidates could go all the way.

Entering the ring strong Cain goes for the win with a huge hook counting on a 0% corporate tax rate. Bachmann strikes back with big fundraising numbers. Cain looks dazed after that exchange.

The last round here starts with Michele touting her position on abortion. Cain comes back with equally strong Christian support. Both candidates reach for the "historical" card and trip over each other trying to berate the media. They both manage to get up....ding-ding.

Alright so there isn't much here...but maybe you have something to add. Drop some comments on me and then  hit up the poll on the right.

Weinergate? Really?

From BigGovernment.com

Why the hell are we (conservatives) paying any attention to this. Sure he needs to resign. Sure he's a total douche. But this seems like a gargantuan waste of time. Democrats won't censure the idiot. The media won't focus on the issue. They'd rather follow Sarah Palin and complain of having to pee on the side of the road than acknowledge Anthony Weiners' stupidity. The media would rather talk about Andrew Brietbart and his vendetta rather than address the issue of Weiner's inane lies. Drop the issue and move on to the bigger issues at hand. Lets see more pressure on the President over his failed jobs plan. Lets see more pressure on the GOP candidates so that we have the best nominee this next fall. Lets focus people. Weiner is aptly named (or perhaps not so aptly named) and deserves to be lampooned in the late-night shows but he certainly shouldn't be taking our eye off the prize. The GOP win in 2012 is not going to hinge on this story. It is a flash in the pan. It may paint the Democrats poorly but it doesn't break Obama's grip on the reigns of this country running off the edge of a cliff. Let this blog post be the end of this particular news cycle.

GOP Cage match Round 1: Palin vs. Romney

Recently there's an unstated rivalry in the GOP primary race. This was brought to my attention today because of a couple of articles I saw. (here and here) This combined with my previous post breaking down the GOP candidates gave me the idea for one on one cage match analysis of two candidates per week. Each week I will give my readers a chance to express their opinions on the match up for the week and select the winner. The winner of each week will face off a winner from a previous week. This should take all summer long since there are so many announced and rumored candidates. Theoretically we'll have enough response from my readers to have a good idea of who the candidate should be at the end of the primaries. Of course we could find that my readers are lop sided, idealistic, or just plain wrong and then we'll just have been entertained for several weeks.

So the cage match for this week is arguably the battle of the heavy weights and I'd wager good money that one of these two will be the front runner by years end...of course I could be completely wrong too. I pit them against each other so soon in the process because they've already gone one-on-one this week and since only one of them is a candidate it seems fair to put them both in the ring as candidates to see who comes out. 

*cue Michael Buffer voice over*

In the Blue Corner standing at 6' 2" at an undisclosed weight and packing the baggage of mandatory healthcare coverage and a pair of flip-flops courtesy of the pro-choice Massachusetts political environment.  

We have the Massachusetts Mormon, the Brother from Boston, runner up in 2008 and a favorite of the middle -of-the-road-Republicans....Miiiiittttt Romneeeey!

In the Pink Corner standing 5'5" and weighing *slap* never mind...a girl never shares that. Carrying Tina Fey, a Governorship-cut-short, and a lip-stick wearing pig the Airhead from Alaska, the Tea-Party Pretty, the Patriotic Princess and the favorite of the hater-media and crazy-conservatives....Saraaaaah Paaaaaalin!

Round 1: Sarah opens the round by calling Romney to the carpet on RomneyCare on the very day he announces his "formal" campaign. Romney counters by proving he won't stoop to cheap theatrics. Palin pulls out the big guns and denies Romney coverage by having a clambake in the same state as Romney. Romney, on his heels, pulls up a giant wad of cash and slams it right into the retro-chic glasses of Palin. 

Round 2: Both candidates are looking strong. Palin skates around the ring on roller blades like any skilled hockey mom. Romney shuffles lightly in his patent leather loafers and un-buttoned long sleeve shirt. Romney starts the round with a sold hit with his big-business cred. Palin absorbs the blow by using folksy rhetoric. Getting into it now they both reach into their historical candidacy as the first Mormon and the first Woman Presidents if they win. This round is a draw.

Round 3: The candidates are showing signs of fatigue. Mitt has a single hair out of place and Sarah has some mascara running. Romney seems ready to end this with big name endorsements in the business sector. Palin reaches to her grass roots populist cred and paid gig on Fox News. This is gonna be a close one.
*ding ding*

Both candidates are standing tall. This is going to the score card.

Please leave your comments below and help me decide who moves on in the Summer GOP Cage Match.